Are some words magic?

Almost everything we do involve words. 

We use words to communicate ideas, express ourselves, and connect with love ones.

Words are how leaders lead, parents parent, teachers teach, and doctors explain.

Some words are more impactful than others. Some words are magic. The right words, used at the right time, can change minds, engage audiences, and drive action.

Rather than asking kids to "help", ask them to be a "helper" instead. You offer an opportunity. An opportunity to claim a desired identity. 

Want people to listen? Ask them to be a listener. Want them to work harder? Encourage them to be a top performer.

Next time you need to solve a complex problem, think about what you could do (rather than should) - the word "could" encourages divergent thinking.

When trying to change the minds of people who disagree with us, we often think that it's best to be direct. We assume that if we just lay out the facts, the other side will come around to our way of thinking. Being too direct can backfire, leading the other person to become even more convinced of their initial opinion.

Instead, showing that we are conflicted or uncertain makes us seem less threatening. It recognizes that issues are complicated or nuanced, which increases receptiveness.

You need to know when to express doubt, and when to express confidence. If you need to express confidence, for instance saying "I think this is the best" conveys more confidence than "This is the best, I think".

Present tense suggests that the speaker don't just have an opinion, they are relatively certain about it. Past tense, like the solution "worked" well, suggests something was true at a particular point in time. 

Present tense, in contrast, suggests that something is more general and enduring. Saying something works well suggests not only that it worked well in the past, but that it continues to work well and will continue to do so in the future.

People who ask more questions are seen as more likable and fun to spend time with. Ask questions that follow up on what was just said because then you demonstrate that you listened, understood and wants to know more.

The more people know about something, the more we assume others know, and we end up communicating in ways hard to understand by using acronyms, abstractness, and other lingo. 

If you want to help people understand an idea, feel heard, or remember what was said, use a concrete language.

If you want people to think your idea has potential, use abstract language. 

Uber could be described as "A smartphone app that makes it easier to get a Taxi, connecting passengers and drivers and reducing wait time". 

Instead, one of the cofounders said "A transportation solution that is convenient, reliable and readily accessible to everyone". 

The potential market seem much larger then, and that's important for investors.

"Magic Words" by Jonah Berger

We are all storytellers

We tell stories about how a meeting went, what we did this weekend, or why we think we are perfect for a particular job. 

We tell stories to make a point, sell an idea, or just connect with friends. But some stories are better than others.

A perfect story turns customers into converts. It transforms employees into evangelists. Executives into leaders.

Storytelling is one of the most powerful business-building tools in existence. Stories create lasting impacts because we remember them. Stories are what stick.

You must master attention, influence and transformation. 

Great stories capture attention, compel the audience to take the action you desire, and then create a lasting impact leaving the audience changed.

We often focus on just one of the elements, maybe two, but rarely three. We talk at people instead of engaging with them.

So what do you find in a great story?

  • Identifiable characters. Someone we care about and connect to.

  • Authentic emotion. Felt by the identifiable character. It is through that emotion that the receiver experiences empathy with the story. This is essential to make it more relatable, compelling, and sticky.

  • A significant moment. A specific point in space, time or circumstance that sets the story aside from the rest. Instead of going big and broad, we need to go small and detailed. Don't stay too vague, too high level, too broad and too general.

  • Specific details. Involve use of specific, descriptive, sometimes unexpected details and imagery that are relevant to the intended audience in an effort to create and draw the listeners into a world that sounds familiar to their own. The finer the detail, the better. This is how you tell the audience that you know them.

Why don't we tell more stories? The biggest barrier to not telling your story is assuming you don't have a story in the first place.

It isn't a lack of stories that keeps you from being able to find yours but rather the ineffective questions we use to get them. Getting better stories requires asking better questions. 

Our stories attach themselves to the nouns in our lives. The people, the places, the things, the events. A memory can be turned into a story.

Pick a story that fits your needs, your business and your audience. 

You are not telling a story for the story's sake. Who are you telling this story to? What do you want them to think, feel, know or do?

Start with a story next time! It eases the natural tension that sometimes exists between audience and speaker. Starting with a story helps to break down barriers and makes you a person just like them instead of the expert in front of the room they are forced to listen to.

"Stories that Stick" by Kindra Hall